If you didn’t read part 1 please do before you continue.

Here’s the link

At first the doctors didn’t detect the cancer and my mother was told that she had pneumonia. Hence she used the drugs for that but to no avail.

On going back for a second check up, her results were sent to south Africa for a second opinion. This was when it was confirmed that she had cancer.

At that time I wasn’t home and hence as usual to check up on guys I’d make phonecalls home. This particular day I called on Saturday evening. My sister was the one who received the call. I asked how church had been on that day and she told me that it was okay though my mum hadn’t gone because she wasn’t feeling well.

Moreover, women from church had come to see her. I then demanded that she give me the phone I talk to my mother.

On talking to her she just said she’ll be fine and nothing else.

Soon enough I was on holiday and went back to Mombasa. At that time she was admitted at Mombasa hospital.

My mother had been operated on and the first thing you’d see when you entered her room was a tube which looked like a hosepipe inserted on her right side. This was apparently to drain out the liquid around her lungs.(The tube drained into a basin by her bedside).

That was when she told me that she has lung cancer.

The tube was very uncomfortable for her. Just imagine a foreign object being inserted into your body and having to sleep with it (still protruding outside too) and having to visit the washroom with it on.

From then on it became a series of prayers and fasting for my mum, family and some friends.

At first I informed only few people and they would help pray. Eventually she would have to start chemotherapy.

This would leave her weak. Hair fell off. It was ever traumatizing to remember the condition you’d left her in whenever you were in school. I became scared of making phone calls home because I would hate to hear that she’d been admitted again

Hardly ever was she at work.

The first trip she made to India revealed that the chemotherapy that she had underwent here in Kenya had made her condition worse.

It now meant that people had to dig deeper into their pockets to facilitate further treatment in India.

The trips to India became quite often as the drugs would soon become ineffective.

She was in hospital more than she was at work. Three children still had to be cared for. Over holidays we become nurses at home. Ensuring she took her medication and all.

This also involved trying natural remedies. Blending all sorts of juices. I got to find out the existence of some plants because of her condition. Even those rare plants we found them. More prayers went up too.

At times I would attend health discussions in church or gatherings and whenever illnesses such cancer were discussed many would easily say that such is caused by lifestyle. What we take into our bodies. My heart would break whenever I’d hear this. To be honest this is because that comes from a point of ignorance. If there was someone who lead a healthy lifestyle in that house, it was my mum.

There were days of great desperation.

There were several people who came to pray for her. Some from church, some who were “led” to come. There were those who put her through crazy diets. Some claimed it was witchcraft. She really tried all possible options to be healed. Some I can’t even mention here.

There were days of financial woes. Where there’d only be like 1000 shillings only with nothing else in the house and we’d have to put her first had buy something like Fennels or Brussel sprouts or celery and the rest of us would just be fine somehow.

But God would come through somehow. The next day someone would just send her money. God sent!

In 2015 I got “expelled” (if I can use that term), from high school. It was early February and I was in my fourth form.

During this period, my mother had been admitted in hospital in Nairobi. Whatever had landed me in trouble met different sentiments from people. Some thought I was stupid. Actually many people did especially my relatives. I’m sure till today they say I should have just stayed. I know they still think it was a dumb move. Some people thought it was brave and encouraged me and supported my decision. Thank you!.

My mother even in her sickbed supported my decision and that’s all that mattered to me.

In my new school I had a hard time. I faced great trials. I don’t know if it’s because I was a new girl or something of that sort but mahn did I have it rough.

At first I thought I had made friends but at the end of it all I was proved wrong.

People I didn’t expect disappointed me. But you know what? There are phenomenal ladies with whom we shared experiences with and we became stronger.( They know themselves).

I wanted to transfer but I couldn’t put my mum through another change of school in just the same year. My final year at that.

I cried more in that school than I had cried in my life. Guys I went through a lot. I just can’t say it all but I have never been through such a bad year as that.

I did my KCSE in tears daily. I would call my mum and she encouraged me. I legit wanted to do my exams as a day scholar because my classmates put me though hell during that time…

2016 I joined university. A private University well because I didn’t get a grade that would qualify me for law in a public uni.

Somehow despite the constant medical bills I never lacked school fees.

2016 and 2017 the routine over holidays was just the same. I would go home whichever chance I got to be away from school.(I can’t get into everything because this post is already too long)

When people are about to die it’s like they sense it.

My mother had called me on several occasions to tell me it was about time.

She passed away on 9th February 2018.I was in Malindi undertaking my judicial attachment. Away from home just like 2012 when my dad died.

You’re never ever ready to accept death as much as it’s inevitable!

I’ve had to end this year because there’s no more heart in me to write further.

But she was amazing.

By Washington Irving

“There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness,
but of power.
They speak more eloquently
than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers
of overwhelming grief
and unspeakable love

Next week I will do a final part on dealing with loss and grief and also point out the do’s and don’ts when interacting with those bereaved.(My personal thoughts. Perhaps it may not be the same with others.)

See you again next Friday .



Add yours

  1. It’s kind of Sad ..
    You’re brave for sharing your story
    There’s a friend of mine who happens to have experienced the same as you .. Exactly trust me
    .. You know what .. Fuck Cancer .. Fuck Chemo too
    Anyway death is inevitable it lurks for someone everyday 😩😩
    Be blessed 😘

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
    Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, THAT WE MAY BE ABLE TO COMFORT THEM WHICH ARE IN ANY TROUBLE, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
    For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.( 2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

    You’re a blessing given us of God,Chichi😊😊. FORGE ONWARDS!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You are strong dear and may the Lord keep you strong and help you in your many endevaours,5 years down the line and I’ll always stick with you through it it all.You my dear,are a brave girl💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Halloo….Venchichi,at least that’s what we called you back then in Pango,hope you have not dropped that name 😋
      I must admit that you are a veery strong and veery secretive lady. I would not have guessed you were going through all that at school and you alwaaays smiled…. I know God always knows best and you are destined for greatness

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I have read the story above. Its sad but true. Where do we go from here? Well we trust in God above. May he give us courage yo only face a tomorrow!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. your mum was a great mother she was more than a relative to my mother helped her despite of her sickness we’ll continue praying for you and your siblings lots of love

    Liked by 1 person

  6. God never forsakes us neither does he leave us ,not even for a second, continue being strong in him and surely is timing is always perfect.. May He see you through.


  7. Your life is your message to the world, keep inspiring.Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.I always admire your strength.You are a rainbow in my clouds babygirl❤.May He grant you more strength and blessings.Happy Sabbath!💕🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  8. When you are down to nothing..God is upto something!
    You have been so brave! May God bless you and may you not experience premature/untimely deaths again,Amen

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is so impressive Ventura, you just put me in the whole reality of all the story.
    With this, God is using you great to be a blessing to many others who are going through grief. I’m already waiting for your next blog.
    May God continue to use you.
    Shine, Shine on Ventura!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Wooiiyee! You must have had it rough. Sorry for all you went and are going through. I’m not the courageous one who’ll pick her phone and call you but I do pray for you.
    Through the love of God our Savior, ALL will be well. ALL must be well.
    Keep strong Chichi.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. My little younger sister keep being strong and a role model to your siblings brave girl dont worry mum went through though times but she remained strong and faithful to God,we serve a living God he will be there 4u all times

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Nothing that in any way concerns our peace is too small for Him to notice. There is no chapter in our experience too dark for Him to read; there is no perplexity too difficult for Him to unravel. No calamity can befall the least of His children, no anxiety harass the soul, no joy cheer, no sincere prayer escape the lips, of which our heavenly Father is unobservant, or in which He takes no immediate interest. “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” Psalms 147:3

    I know the lines above are so familiar

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Mum u r strong n God has made u even much stronger because you believe urself, u believed ur dea mother n most important u do believe in God’s word. Our God is good all the time. When the ones we love most are around n even when they go ahead of us. we miss Mellen as a sister n best friend. she was a perfect portrait of motherhood that I could live to tell. May our good Lord’s love shower you with perpetual blessings. As for Mellen heavens r in possession of a celebrity that only angels can tell. Tek, t easy sweetheart God’s love is your chunk of portion.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. nothing is too hard for the Lord. keep trusting in Him and he shall establish your ways.

    God bless you and keep you (together with your siblings.)

    Liked by 1 person

  15. The full story. Still so sad and heart breaking. Your mom was also strong, and wherever she is, she is surely looking out for you. Thank God for what He left you with, the people you still have that hold you dear; thank God for the life He left you with, and start viewing life positively, because, as your theme “Positivity” is, life is dark, and if you are not positive about the demons that lurk in the darkness; the ones that always try to pull us to retardation: if you are not will get consumed by the darkness. But as it always appears, you are always strong and positive. May God add more to your life, more than what you lost…because as impossible as it may seem, blessings may have a terrible introduction, they may have a disheartening beginning…but the fruits of patience and perseverance are sure rewarding! Trust in God, ALWAYS, he NEVER fails. Keep being strong and positive. You are NEVER alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Pole sana for this experience. I may not even find the right words, but you are truly a Strong girl. And the Lord has and will surely continue to hold your hand through it all

    Liked by 1 person

  17. This is amazing girl.Please write a book.You will inspire millions of young people who might be facing the same challenges.I’m so much touched by your stories…May the almighty God keep you dear…Keep it burning fear not…Write more and more..BRILLIANT BRAINS 👌.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: