PLEASE LET ME GO INCOGNITO……WELL, AT LEAST SOMETIMES

This is not going to be a feel good post that brightens your day or something. If that was what you were hoping to find today, sorry it’s not today. That being said, you may still opt to read ahead and maybe just get an idea of one of the things I think about every other day as I try and live this life.

I am the person who would rather ignore someone’s call than lie to them. I wanted to follow that sentence with, “that’s just how I am……” but I’ve come to realize that there is a danger in making such a blanket statement, but that’s a topic for another day.

A question like “how are you ?” makes my mind race. Does this person expect the usual response of, “I’m fine” ? Is this person really ready for an honest answer…? Most of the time, well I decide for the person and settle on a quick response of I’m just fine. Here and then I take a chance on a few of my friends and I’m honest and just the fact that I can be is enough. It’s not necessary that “I’m saved” from my situation if I’m not fine. I promise.

I also sometimes think people worry a lot and they show it. Maybe the fact that they show it is what bothers me sometimes. Also, maybe it’s not bad thing. It could be neither here nor there. However, should I also show that I worry too? I don’t know.

Let me build this thought a little more. This kind of worry (in my opinion) usually has a certain delicacy to it which requires you as the object of the worry to be alive and understanding to. Sometimes you can just want to be alone and limit your interaction with people just to find yourself again or just to take a break put quite simply. But how do you assure someone that that is the only reason and you are not going through depression or struggling with other issues.

Having such considerations and opting to forgo those “disappearing acts” just so someone won’t worry is what actually stresses me. This is something I think about so often. I don’t know if there are people who share my sentiments as well. I highly regard those messages from people telling you that they hope you are okay and even if you aren’t, you’re in their thoughts and it’s okay if you just need to take time off. With the reminder that such moments don’t affect the dynamics of your relationship because it’s normal to want to sometimes switch off and retreat alone.

I guess it’s something hard for a lot of people to do. Even more so because we live in times where we are all going through a lot mentally. We want to be there for each other every moment. But personally for me, sometimes I want someone to be there for me but with some distance. I don’t know if that sounds bad but sometimes, please let me just go incognito.

These are just a few thoughts that I have as I’ve said above in this post. You can share with me your thoughts and opinions as well.

Let’s keep taking one day at a time looking after ourselves in the best way we can. And on the days we are strong enough let’s also use our voices and platforms to talk about and address issues that need to be addressed.

You can only watch injustice go on for so long until you’re compelled to say something. To speak out against it. 

Macklemore