To my friends and your friends ; From me and you

You will know who needs to read this but I personally think everyone needs to.

Have you ever been in this situation where you went through a rough patch but didn’t tell anyone around you and in particular your friend or friends?

Have you also seen this “I wish you told me” look ?

This look that actually makes your heart feel a little sad because you sense they felt they weren’t/ aren’t good friends to you?

I have sometimes felt this way. Maybe your friends have too. I write today to our friends ( mine and yours), we promise you’re good friends to us and we love you.

I remember this particular day when I was curled up in bed not knowing how I’d get through the day. I couldn’t even draw the curtains and let the light in. My heart was too dark, I had no will power in me to get up and seize the day. You didn’t know. I didn’t tell you. I told no one. But that day, I got a call that there’s a package coming my way. Can you imagine that I thought I couldn’t let the simple rays of the sun in from my window yet here you were able to make me walk in all the light outside. What kind of friendship is this that even when I don’t speak, somehow you know. Good doesn’t even cut describing it.

I appreciate all that you’ve done for me. I appreciate that you listened to the audio messages that I sent. I’m grateful for just letting me cry and not making me feel weird about it. For that extra tight hug when I needed it the most. You may have thought that you needed the perfect words to speak to me but your arms and shoulders spoke more than you could ever have.

Well what I’m trying to say is :

I may not have told you verbally then but you did cross my mind. You crossed my mind because I knew I could trust you. I knew I could come to you whenever but I needed to fight some of these battles alone. And hey, if I needed reinforcement I know I’d be able to recruit you to assist.

Sometimes I’m only able to be vague about it. I’m unearthing parts of me that still hurt, that ache and bleed. I do that slowly and between all that pain, I could barely say anything. Please allow that be enough for you. Just as when a small grip by someone who had lost movement in their muscles is.

Now I know you worry a lot sometimes. You want to know what goes in my mind. I promise I’ll do better and communicate. I’ll communicate better and when words fail, I will draw, I will paint, I will hum.

You are a good friend to me.

I promise.

I love you for that.

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Did this post speak to you ? Let me know in the comments.