Grace & Frankie – Season 2 Episode 12 – ‘The Party’

A bit of a spoiler incase you’re planning to watch this / are watching and haven’t gotten here yet …

Also , this post will talk about death and could be triggering for you …

This episode of Grace and Frankie covered something I have thought of before. Dying on your own / my own terms. I was having these thoughts sometime back (just last year )when I was experiencing passive suicidal ideation. One of the things that crossed my mind then was how having a farewell party with the people I loved would be great. Make our last memory together beautiful. Take photos , leave people letters etc …I also thought of how people would perhaps be shocked , wished they could do more, wonder where they went wrong etc. I wondered if they would get to that point of understanding it was never about them or the things they could have done different etc…

Yeah, I thought through all of that. Sometimes living is that hard and painful if I’m being honest. I sometimes see how people trivialize the reasons people give for going through with dying on their own terms really and I just can’t. Something can seem very insignificant to you but to someone else it is their everything, their whole world, their make or break, something that mattered the most…

So Now to Grace and Frankie …

They both had this friend called Babe who had been diagnosed with cancer. Babe decided that she didn’t want to go through chemo and all that because of the toll it would have on her and she wanted to die happy. So she enlisted the help of her two friends to plan her the party of her life; quite literally. She had specific people she wanted there , specific foods she wanted to eat , activities to do etc.

Frankie was that friend who was like , say less. I’m gonna do it for you. Everything you want ✅. Not that it was easy for her or anything but she truly wanted to make sure her friend enjoyed her last day on earth.

Grace on the other hand was not willing to have any part of it. It was morally upsetting to her. She was vouching for Babe to go through with the treatments. She was going to support her on that front.

In the end , though being against the idea of all of it , she attended the party cause she loved her friend.

Now, it was such a tear jacking episode for me to watch. Having lost a loved one to cancer. I might have probably shared this in an old post but it did take me back to when my mum would pray that God would take her because the pain was too much. That used to really hurt me because my default thought was how would she wish to leave me alone on this earth; with no one..

At some point the way in which she expressed that desire to just die and no longer be in pain was more like asking for permission. Like she needed me to be okay with it etc.

I think I was more of a Grace in that situation. With my own struggle however, I think I have come to be more empathetic to such situations. I think I’m more of a Frankie now ..

Perhaps this might be some scary thoughts for you to have or even talk about but they are there. Some of us have had them. They probably won’t end.

I guess we just keep making the most of the days while we still can or even while we still want ?

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